By Kate Romero
It’s that time of year when we (and when I say ‘we’, I mean, ‘not me’) join a gym, go on a diet, drink less, get out more, get out less, etc. I hate New Year’s resolutions to the point where I’ve actually begun resolving to pick up even more bad habits at the start of every year. In that way, there is no disappointment when I fail. I used to resolve every year to try and stop cussing, and when I would tell people of my awesome resolution, they would smile and shake their heads sadly at me. The only resolution I’ve ever kept was the year I resolved that if I was going to spend the entire day wearing yoga pants, I had to at least do yoga in them. So, I’d slip on my yoga pants in the morning, do a quick Downward Facing Dog, and voilà! Resolution kept. For at least two weeks.
This year, however, I’m itching for some change. 2012 hasn’t been the kindest year for me, and I’d like to kick it to the curb with a flourish, so I’ve decided to make a list of things I can do to make my stay in Brasilia more enjoyable. Now, I’m not calling these resolutions, mind you, because the minute I do, I feel it is my duty to defy myself and fail. No one tells me what to do, not even my own self (right about now you’re probably thinking, wow, her husband is sure a lucky man, and YOU WOULD BE RIGHT).
So, here is my list of non-resolutions for my final year of living in BSB (and I don’t have to adhere to them if I don’t want to).
1. Only buy things out of my car window that I actually need. The novelty of buying things at stoplights has worn off, yet I continue to fill my car and home with electric tennis rackets, towels, maps, pineapples, coconuts, and brooms. Side note: persimmons don’t taste anything like tomatoes and they make yucky salsa.
2. Stop being afraid of my gardener. Every week, he leaves earlier and earlier. Last week he arrived at 9:00 and left two hours later, lawn unmowed, hedges scraggly, and potted plants dry. I am totally going to say something to him one of these days about that.
3. Get a golden tan, just once in my life. I’m in Brazil, for crying out loud, and it would be interesting to see what I look like with a tan AND blonde eyebrows.
4. Learn how to make feijoada that doesn’t taste like cat food rolled in salt.
5. Learn how to make a delicious cafezinho, using actual Brazilian-roasted coffee beans. I know how to make a tasty espresso from my days of being a barista in Seattle in the early 90s, but I have yet to make my cafezinhos taste like anything other than tar dipped in acid. I know it can be done, because I’ve had lots of them in restaraurants.
6. Stop using the piles of capybara poop down by the lake as an excuse not to get any exercise.
7. Make my own appointments. Haha! Totally kidding on that one. I pay good money for a portugeuse tutor for my teenager for a reason.
8. No more speeding tickets. I just put this one on here because I needed something for number eight and it sounds like a nice, mature thing to resolve to do. Also, it will make my husband so happy to see this that he might buy me some new shoes.
9. Learn the right way to say, “caipirinha” and “Pão de Açúcar”.
10. Learn how to make a proper caipirinha. I have a lime tree heavy with limes in my backyard, and I can’t keep just using the limes to throw at the bee’s nest that is growing in our carport (did I mention our gardener is slacking off?). I tried to make a few caipirinhas last week, but it seemed like a lot of work. Maybe there is a caipirinha machine I can buy out of my car window.